Epilogue: Reflections on a Year of Running

Remembrance Day 2016

During Remembrance Day weekend of 2016, I had shared online a picture of me having returned from a run with a poppy attached to my hat. Little did I know that would mark the start of one solid year of being focused on running, after having given up running for so long.

I came back to the blog, and decided to finish what I had started years ago: to run five marathons. And while I was no longer able to complete "Five by 35," since I'd already passed the age of 35 a few years ago, having to deal with the death of my dad and wanting that loss to mean something definitely gave me the motivation to run one more. It wasn't pretty, but it got done - seems like a theme for my life! But nothing that comes without work is worth having anyway, right?

I hurt my knee during those last few weeks of training for number five and, were it not for desperately wanting to complete that run for my dad and everyone who donated to my fundraising campaign for Diabetes Canada, I likely would not have chosen to run on race day. In hindsight, while I was mentally ready and prepared to complete number five, I knew my knee was not up to running 42.2 km; still, I went out there anyway. Since that time, I've undergone hours of physiotherapy and exercises to help repair the damage I did. 

Well-earned hardware and swag

After a few months, my physiotherapist suggested I join a run club hosted by his clinic. As you may know, I am not, nor have I ever been, a social runner (proof: see posts here, here and here). But this experience was new and - dare I say it? - kind of enjoyable. It was nice to be with other runners of all different skill levels, hearing about their race experiences - and of all manner of running injury they have also endured. 

It was only because of my physiotherapist and the run club that I decided to go for my RUN VAN Hat Trick: running all three Vancouver International Marathon Society-organized running events in one year. Obviously, I'd already done the big one, the BMO Vancouver International Marathon, in May. What followed was the Turkey Trot on Granville Island during Canadian Thanksgiving, then the 5k event at the Fall Classic just this past weekend.

RUN VAN Hat Trick: done!

Truthfully, deep down I'd set my sights on running the 10k - if not the half marathon - at the Fall Classic. But the knee just wouldn't let me. And this time... I listened. As a result, I was able to lure my husband into running with me, given the short distance of the event. This was his first real race, and the first one we have ever - officially [wink] - done together. And I still completed my RUN VAN Hat Trick regardless, so... wins all around, I'd say.

My knee continues to be a work in progress but after the year of running I've had, that's not necessarily a bad thing. This year has really changed my perspectives on running, and in positive, unexpected ways. I've realized there will always be another goal, another race upon which to set my sights. My long distance days may be over for now, but I've learned to never say never. My hope now is that I'll be able to relax, really take the time to listen to my body - and just enjoy each run as it comes.  

Fall Classic 2017: our first official race together
but hopefully not the last. Pic cred: M. Boulton.

Number Five Recap: A Bum Knee, Bad Hip and Blisters (All In a Day's Work)

As it turns out, I didn't have to crawl on my hands and knees to cross the finish line on Sunday... although, it came close to that.

Get ready...
After four-plus months of training, almost five years on the blog and going back nearly eight years to when this crazy marathoning journey started, all I wanted to do was make it to the start line of the BMO Vancouver Marathon healthy and ready to rock. Unfortunately, some problems with my right knee crept up on me during my taper and, even though I spent days resting and icing it, it became a problem that I couldn't ignore.

Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), I'm stubborn like a mule so that wasn't going to stop me. 

Get set...
Race weekend is normally such a big deal for me; I love the anticipation and excitement of it all. Picking up my race package and being around hundreds or thousands of other runners is normally fun and exhilarating. 

My knee pain, however, kind of sucked all the joy out of race weekend for me. I was hobbling around the Race Expo, super bummed. But by the night before the race, I had somehow managed to calm (steel?) the nerves and put it out of mind. Que sera, sera, as it were.

Go!
As I stood in my corral with the other "slow" runners, I started to feel that rush of being at the start line with the whole morning in front of me. I had decided to pace very conservatively, to give my knee time to warm up and hopefully loosen up. The first few kilometres went by with no issues at all, and I began to gain a little confidence - something I had been lacking all week long. 

At some point, I noticed my knee felt... well, if not good then as good as it was going to get. The problem was actually my right hip. It's just a theory, but I think my hip started to compensate for my knee, which is why the knee felt okay. Overall, this compensation might have been okay over a short distance, but the hip started to really tighten up the further into the race I went.  

Remembering my conversation with the Team Diabetes staff a few days earlier, I listened to my body and made concessions. At first, I decided to switch from running 10 minutes/walking one minute, to running five minutes/walking one minute i.e. five and ones instead of 10 and ones, hoping to give my hip a rest and a bit of a "walking stretch". I also told myself, "Get to the halfway mark." 

Pausing at the top of the hill

Sure enough, I made it past the halfway marker on this strategy. But by this point, the race had circled around to the top of Pacific Spirit Park heading into Spanish Banks/Point Grey... all downhill. Normally, this would be great - a nice chance to recover. But not this time. This long downhill stretch was bad on the hip. Real bad. 

Wait. Abort?
Once I got down the hill I had to change my strategy again and, instead of running five and ones, I had to switch to running every two minutes... and then every other minute. 

I set a new target: get to Spanish Banks, which was about 23 km in. I figured, that's a reasonable goal... and if I could make it there, I'd be back on "home turf" i.e. one of my regular running neighbourhoods. Maybe - just maybe - by telling myself these things, I could trick my body into going a little further each time. 

At Spanish Banks, another new target: make it to 32 km. "At least at 32 km", I told myself, "that will match my longest long run. Make it to 32 km and walk from there." 

© The Oatmeal

Sadly, the hip gave up well before then - at around 26 km, as a matter of fact. If my hip could talk, it was basically saying, "Fuck you, lady. Did you hear me? NOPE."

So... I walked. 

And then, right at Cornwall and Yew in Kitsilano, at about 27 km - I'll never forget it, because I run this area all the time - I started to cry. I tried to hold the tears back, but they came anyway. All I could think about was that I was so far from the end ohmigod I'll never make it what do I do I don't know what to do I don't think I can make it. 

One foot in front of the other. I put one foot in front of the other for one more block - and there was my husband, standing at the next corner. 

When I got close enough, I didn't hold back anymore. I started sobbing. I'm so far from the end ohmigod I'll never make it what do I do I don't know what to do I don't think I can make it.

We started walking together a little, so I could try and calm down. And then we saw it: the 28 km marker. 

My brain: 14 km. 14 km left. 

Me: "14 km. There's 14 km left." [pause - then, to my husband:] "Wanna walk 14 km with me?"

My husband: "Sure."

And just like that, my husband saved my marathon.

"How much further?" "It's a little, tiny... 9 miles."
Wow, Simon Pegg. I can SO relate.

Nothing like a beautiful stroll on a Sunday afternoon
That's how I finished number five. Walking 14 km with my husband, on a Sunday afternoon, over the Burrard Street bridge, along English Bay and around the whole of Stanley Park. 

It may not have been stunning "running" (as BMO Vancouver Marathon runners know it). It was definitely not how I'd imagined my day would go. But for something so unexpected, it could have been so much worse. 

Some of the MarathonFoto pics from the event are available and, while I can't share any of them on the blog (because I haven't bought any), let me tell you: I looked a sad sack in so many - but not in the pics with my husband next to me. I'm actually smiling in those. Which, considering how badly this marathon was turning out performance-wise, was surprising. 

I asked for a miracle, didn't I? Turns out, I got one. 

Unofficial results

The result
The full marathon started at 8:30 am. I crossed the finish line at 2:46 pm. My gun time was 6 hours and 16 minutes, chip time 6 hours and 8 minutes. 

Overall, I placed at 3,479 out of 4,696 full marathoners. In my category of F35-39, 204 out of 284. Out of all females, I was number 1,347 out of 1,866. 

New personal bests worsts in a lot of ways but - you know something? Who cares? A finish is a finish is a finish. Right? As a friend told me post-marathon, "It's never about the measure or time but always about the journey and process. You showed perseverance, resilience and heart. Never forget that you are a fighter. Unreal job."

So - how does it feel? To quote the (IMHO) inimitable movie, Bring It On: "Feels like first."

War wounds
I really wanted to mention my "war wounds" from the day, because they were (are) significant... ly painful. 

Posterior knee pain (left). Since my right hip gave out completely and the left side of my body had to do so much work to compensate, I ended up with a hella lot of pain at the back of my left knee. A little research, and it turns out - there's a muscle back there! The internet tells me this is called the popliteus. Who knew? Walking is now an issue but hopefully only a temporary setback.

Sorry gang, had to include a pic. This blister is so weird!

Blisters. The bum knee, bad hip and painful popliteus all resulted in poor "running" (I use the term loosely) form... which translated into crazy blisters. Which - for one - is unusual because I don't normally get blisters. But the blisters were also strangely placed: right at the base of my third and fourth toes on my left foot, and on the bottoms of the fourth toe on both feet. 

Inner thigh chafing. This one could probably have been avoided but - my bad. I chose to wear running shorts that I knew sometimes chafed along the inner thigh. Thankfully, the chafing was relatively minimal and nothing that a warm shower and a little antibiotic ointment couldn't handle. 

Sunday night, I couldn't use my right hip flexor at all. I was sitting on the floor with my legs straight out in front of me, and my right hip refused to lift my right leg up. It was kind of like it drank too much and passed out - no reaction, whatsoever. 

Ironically, the right knee that had bothered me all last week is now completely pain-free. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not meant to.

Honourable mentions
Shitty day aside, running this marathon in Vancouver was pretty amazing. There's a reason why this event has been going strong for decades: the Vancouver International Marathon Society knows what they're doing. Like, for real. A well-organized course, fun entertainment stations, a highly engaged and mobilized volunteer force... who could ask for more?

I also saw so many friends on the course, which I never experienced before in previous marathons because none of them were in my city! Thank you so much Kirsten, Kathy P., Hecel, Christina S. and Fay. Seeing you ladies really helped put a smile on my face and keep my spirits up. 

Hanging out at the start line before
the corrals get too crowded

Of course, I would be absolutely remiss to not give my husband HUGE PROPS here. I genuinely believe I would not have crossed the finish line without his love and support. So, thank you Matt! for literally being by my side and metaphorically carrying me for 14 km. You salvaged this race for me. As with so many things in this life, I could not have done this without you. I love you.

Good job, running friends!
I'd also like to congratulate everyone else who ran either the full or half marathon on Sunday: Jeny, Christina S. and her sister, Jim, Jen T. and Samantha (sorry if I've inadvertently missed anyone). Hope you all had great races! 

Fundraising update

Good job, friends!

Thanks to a few (somewhat forgetful and/or tardy) friends, a few more donations for my fundraising campaign in memory of my dad came in at the 11th hour to put the campaign at $3,681! This total was a team effort from 80 donors giving anywhere between $10 and $100. You guys made this happen. Thank you so much. 

If you'd still like to give, please do so at my Team Diabetes personal page! Donations can be made for two more months following the marathon, so there is still time. All proceeds go towards diabetes research, education and advocacy. Tax receipts are issued for donations of $15 or more.

And... relax
What happens now? I dunno. For now, I'm just gonna bask in the glory that is finally finishing number five. I have slayed the proverbial dragon. That's good enough for me.

Chillin' with John Stanton from the
Running Room post-marathon. No big.

Running Round-up: Catching Up On the Blog While Tapering Edition

Race weekend is nearly here! Here's what I've been up to, or what I've wanted to write about but have been procrastinating instead, all week long.

Hoping there's no "kneed" to worry
Tapering is great. It feels like a nice break after so much hard work. The advice for tapering is generally: back off the mileage, but keep running i.e. don't just stop running altogether. 

Love these banners. Pic cred: @broadwayrunclub

So last weekend, I did a 6 km run with my husband, which was a nice little treat as we don't run together that often. After the run, however, I noticed one of my knees was quite sore - but no big, sometimes that happens; my knees have always been a little crunchy. 

But then... my knee was sore the next day, and the day after that. I'd been icing and foam rolling, and I'd stayed off it i.e. no running whatsoever. So when I woke up Wednesday morning and it was still sore with seemingly no improvement, I started to panic a little bit...  along the lines of, "WTF is wrong with this knee [because I really had no idea]? Am I seriously not going to being able to run on Sunday??" (Cue fainting and then waking up immediately followed by uncontrollable sobbing. If that were the case.) 

Fortunately, my knee finally felt like it had started to loosen up today. Luckily, with some more ice and rest and a bit of targeted massage, it'll feel nice and normal and ready to go by this weekend. Fingers, toes and knees crossed!

Running for depressives
I recently read Matt Haig's book, Reasons to Stay Alive. I'm not one much for reading self-help books, but it had been rated highly and was touted as part memoir, so I thought I'd give it a go.

Rather than this be a proper book review, I'll simply say: I liked it. And: it's worth reading. Also, I wanted to share an excerpt from his book (which I hope the author won't mind) as in it, he writes about how running helped him manage his depression. As someone who too, has suffered with this, I could totally relate. Figured this would also be timely, given the recent work done by Heads Together at the London Marathon to tackle stigma surrounding mental health. 

Thanks for your words, Matt.

  Running is a commonly cited alleviator of depression and anxiety. It certainly worked for me. When I started running I was still getting very bad panic attacks. The thing I liked about it was that many of the physical symptoms of panic - the racing heart, the problematic breathing, the sweating - are matched by running. So while I was running I wouldn't be worried about my racing heart because it had a reason to be racing.

  Also, it gave me something to think about. I was never exactly the fittest person in the world, so running was quite difficult. It hurt. But that effort and discomfort was a great focuser. And so I convinced myself that through training my body I was also training my mind. It was a kind of active meditation.

  It also, of course, gets you fit. And getting fit is pretty much good for everything. When I became ill I had been drinking and smoking heavily, but now I was trying to undo that damage.

  So every day I would go running, or do an equivalent type of cardiovascular exercise. Like Haruki Murakami - whose excellent book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running I would later read - I found running to be a way of clearing the fog. ('Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that's the essence of running,' Murakami also said, which is something I've come to believe too, and is one of the reasons I believe it helps the mind.)

   I would come back from a run and stretch and have a shower and feel a gentle sense of release, as though depression and anxiety were slowly evaporating from inside me. It was a wonderful feeling. Also, that kind of monotony that running generates - the one soundtracked by heavy breathing and the steady rhythm of feet on pavements - became a kind of metaphor for depression. To go on a run every day is to have a kind of battle with yourself. Just getting out on a cold February morning gives you a sense of achievement. But that voiceless debate you have with yourself - 'I want to stop! No, keep going! I can't, I can hardly breathe! There's only a mile to go! I just need to lie down! You can't!' - is the debate of depression, but on a smaller and less serious scale. So for me, each time I forced myself out there in the cold grey damp of a West Yorkshire morning, and pushed myself to run for an hour, it gave me a little bit of depression-beating power. A little bit of that 'you'd better be careful with who you are messing with' spirit.

  It helped, sometimes. Not always. It wasn't foolproof. I wasn't Zeus. There were no magic thunderbolts at my disposal. But it is nice to build up, over the years, things that you know do - on occasion - work. Weapons for the war that subsides but that can always ignite again. And so writing, reading, talking, travelling, yoga, meditation and running were some of mine.

My dad is my trainer
These past four months training for number five, I've faced a whole gauntlet of emotion: joy, elation, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, sadness, overwhelm, anger. Running, for me, has always had the ability to bring out all of these feelings and put them right at the forefront - at a place where one is forced to face them all, versus putting them aside or trying to ignore them.

Me and my dad, then and (almost) now

That was even more telling, this time around in training, doing all this for my dad. On those days when the runs were hard, and all I wanted to do was quit, thinking about my dad kept me going. I have this memory from when I was a kid and he was teaching me how to ride a bike. I was terrible at it. I was scared. So scared, in fact, I didn't want him to let go. 

And - you know something? He didn't. He ran so much trying to get me to learn how to ride that stupid bike. 

When I think about it now, it makes me laugh... seeing him in my mind's eye, hanging onto the back of my bike, me crying about not being able to do it, him not letting go because I didn't want him to. 

Of course, he eventually let go and I discovered I was able to do something I felt I'd never be able to do. 

I guess that's still what it's like today. He may not be here anymore but he had my back then, and he certainly still does now. Those hard days during training, I conjured up his memory - and there he was, supporting me, urging me to keep going, encouraging me to not give up. 

And I didn't. I completed all those long runs. I made it to the end of every route I'd planned. Hopefully that will be the case on Sunday as well. 

Come hang out with me on the course!
There is a very handy feature on the BMO Vancouver Marathon website, whereby you can look up my bib number and then "watch" me as I'm running... so a little creepy, but mostly cool, right?

The system updates each time runners cross the following marked distances on the course: 8.5 km, 10 km, 12 km, 15 km, 21.1 km (halfway!), 24 km, 29 km, 35 km, 40 km and, of course, 42.2 km a.k.a. the finish line. Plus, the weather looks like it's going to be great. Definitely hoping that the forecast holds out!

If you come out on Sunday, be sure to find me and say hi... especially if you donated, so that I can give you a big sweaty hug and thank you in person. 

© Vancouver International Marathon Society

And Now... I'm Speechless

There is now less than one week to go until the BMO Vancouver Marathon!

In the weeks and days leading up to the race, I've been feeling a little emotional - thinking about my dad and why I decided to do number five (finally). 

And now... you've helped me reach my Team Diabetes fundraising target of $3,500 and I am totally and utterly speechless. 

More to come in the next few days but for now, let me just say: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I am overwhelmed by your generosity and support and well wishes, and am so grateful that so many of you decided to help Diabetes Canada and little ol' me. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

You guys are the best!

How to Train for and Run a Marathon: A Non-Exhaustive Shortlist

In training:

1. Stick to the training schedule.
2. Run at times of day similar to the scheduled race time to get used to what might happen on race day e.g. waking up early enough, eating breakfast, prepping gear, getting dressed, stretching and warming up, etc.
3. Run in all kinds of weather - because you never know what you're gonna get on race day.

   

   I was here... and here, and here...

4. Run on the same surface as the race to condition your body for similar impact e.g. concrete or trails versus treadmills.
5. Pay attention to your diet (nutrition is important).
6. Stay hydrated.
7. Get enough sleep.
8. Find someone who knows more than you about running and ask them lots of questions about everything you don't know - but know that not everything works the same or as well for everyone. 
9. Find a good registered massage therapist and visit him/her as often as you can.
10. Find a good physiotherapist and consult him/her as needed.
11. Give yourself lots of encouragement every day.
12. Surround yourself with people who support your goals. 
13. Ignore the "Negative Nancies" and "Downer Dougs".
14. Don't be a douchebag runner to other runners. This includes not being a "Negative Nancy" or "Downer Doug."

Specifically for race day:

1. Get enough sleep leading up to the race (tip: even a good night's sleep two nights before versus the night before the race can be enough - just try and stay well rested as race day approaches).
2. Don't try or do anything new e.g. with clothing (potential chafing), gear (unexpected issues with weight, function), breakfast, gels or other nutrition (avoiding digestive issues), etc.
3. Get to the start line with time to spare.
4. Enjoy the race! You've earned it.

Journal entry 

Today's run: 23 km and technically, the last LSD in the training schedule. Yay for tapering! Weather: overcast and partly sunny this morning, which is why I deliberately went out early (note: it's raining now but at least I'm watching the bad weather from my couch instead of being in it). Feeling: glad to have missed the rain! And looking forward to the rest of the weekend.

...and also here.

Friday Fun Run

Happy Friday, friends! 

For once, we experienced bonafide, grade A sunshine in Vancouver today. Yippee! Unfortunately, it's back to rain tomorrow. Sad face! 

Wowza, if I do say so myself. Look at this daaaayy!

Knowing this, I went out for a random little run this afternoon - in shorts! - to soak up some vitamin D. I also decided to skip the regular routes and run just for fun. The result: a view I don't normally see from on foot, which always helps to keep the running fresh. After nearly four months of running largely the same routes from week to week, anything new and interesting at this stage is a welcome change.

Journal entry 
Today's run: 7 km. Weather: sunny. Beautiful. Glorious. Feeling: pretty darn good. Glad for the change of scenery. 

Good luck to everyone taking part in races this weekend, including the Vancouver Sun Run and London Marathon. Have fun out there!

Running Round-up: Happy Belated Easter Edition

Spring has sprung.
Now... will it stay??

This past weekend was spent by many enjoying Easter egg hunts and eating chocolate. Me? I got plenty of sleep and waited for the best day forecast in the long weekend to run 32 km - the last big long run in the training schedule before the mileage tapers off. 

Fundraising update: less than $500 to go!
My campaign has levelled off at $3,001, just about $500 shy of my fundraising target of $3,500. This means, if only 34 more people gave $15 each, or 20 people gave $25 each or 10 people gave $50 each (I mean, you get the idea, right?)... I'd make my goal! 

If you haven't yet donated, now is the time! Please visit my Team Diabetes fundraising page and give what you can. If you've already donated, muchas gracias, amigos. You're the best.

Huh. Who knew?
From The Runner's Book of Daily Inspiration, by Kevin Nelson (which I've mentioned on this blog before):

Your body is responding to what you're doing... you see it every time you run. The course seems shorter somehow... your running is smoother and easier. You want to run longer because you're more able to handle it.

After 16+ weeks of training, the above totally happened this weekend. And - honestly? It came as a really welcome surprise, as I was coming off extremely uncomfortable and personally disappointing long runs in the past few weeks. Sure, I'm still out there for four and half hours but where I used to bonk at 17 km, I feel like I'm just getting started. 23 and 26 km long runs on the schedule? No longer a terrifying prospect. I guess it's true what the trainers say: to get better at running, run more (within reason, of course). 

We like to leave lots of "chocolate eggs" for our
humans lying around everywhere.

Bunny trainers
Another Easter has come and gone and, as I'm lucky enough to live with two buns of my own year-round, I don't really feel the urge to gush over rabbits too much during this time of year. That said, here's a pic of them... you know, just in case you didn't get your fill of cuteness this holiday weekend. 'Til next time, friends.

Celebrating Women

Happy International Women's Day! (I'm a day late but I'm gonna fall back on the assumption that shouldn't we be celebrating the triumphs of women and fighting for equal rights every day?)

There were many events and initiatives happening around the world to recognize this day and what it means. For my part, I did not stay home from work and did not wear red (but only because I discovered, sadly, that I don't own any work-appropriate clothing that is red) but I did reflect, as I do often, on my status - as an educated, working woman who is a minority and has chosen to not have children. I think about this status in the context of the privileges I've been afforded, and how others have reacted to certain choices I've made.

"The Fearless Girl” by Kristen Visbal. Pic cred: Business Insider

I think about the women that have come before me who have been an inspiration, and the women in my life now who I consider to be mentors and allies, and I wonder what I would do without them. They are my confidantes, my sisters, my trusted peeps. To you I say: thank you for having my back, unconditionally. Keep kicking ass.

I also think about the men in my life who have supported me in my efforts to be successful as a career person, a grad student and a person, in general. As per Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, we need these men - to be in our corner, fighting our same fight. Thank you, too, to all the men who have stood up for me and the other women in their lives.

How did you celebrate International Women's Day?

A trinket made by one of my women friends to keep me motivated.

Learning From Doing

I'm up to 19 km on my long runs, so I've had a lot of time out there to think about what's helped me be successful in completing the marathons I've run over the years. Here's what I've discovered.

Stick to the schedule
A general rule in increasing to long distances is to not run more than roughly 10% of the distance you ran the week before (although there is some debate about the validity of this rule, generally I think this can be a sensible starting point). Marathon training programs are designed to gradually increase the distance a person is running from week to week. Skipping a run here or there is one thing, but to miss a week or two, or even a long run here and there, can easily throw your schedule off track. Hey, life happens and sometimes it's not possible to make every training run. Learn how to adapt, but get the mileage in as needed.

Go the distance...
I've been out on my share of long runs where I get to a certain point, and all I want to do is totally ditch. I will admit, I have been tempted more than once in the middle of a long run to just hop on a bus or flag down a taxi and go home. But somehow, I've forced myself to stay on my feet and make the distance for that day. Sometimes it's by telling myself to just make it to the next kilometre, or next walk break. Sometimes, I need it to be even simpler - like, committing to one step at a time. I'm a firm believer that whatever you need to tell yourself at that time, that day, in that run to keep going, is exactly what you need to hear

...unless your body is saying otherwise
When I got injured in 2012 training for #3, it was devastating. But that injury didn't come without its warning signs. Fatigue, pain... these are all precursors to injury and they should not be ignored. 

Be open
In running, there will be good days, and there will be bad days. And very rarely have the rest of the days been just "okay" or "meh". I've found running is either glorious, or heartbreaking. Incredible, or soul-sucking. For all the awe-inspiring runs I've had, I've had just as many that were plain awful. But you know what? I learned something from all of them. I became stronger. I found confidence, courage, belief - and more - simply by putting my shoes on and going out there. As long as you are open to the possibility of what running can bring, I believe you will gain as much or more than you give.

Be kind to yourself
Lastly, running can be hard to do - not just for beginners, but for everyone. It doesn't matter whether you're starting from scratch, or if you've been running for years. Struggles befall us all - in life, and in running. Don't forget that this is something you are doing for yourself, to be fitter, healthier. So remember that. If the going gets tough, give yourself a break... and then get back out there the next day.

What are the things you've learned while training?

A Love Affair

I moved to the Canadian west coast 13 years ago and haven't looked back since.

The city has its faults: stark class divides, gentrification - displacing and further marginalizing some of the city's most vulnerable, skyrocketing real estate prices. But its natural beauty is unparalleled.

I've been running long distances here now for the better part of a decade. I've spent hours on trails, on the seawall and along the beaches and, each time, I marvel at the splendour this place has to offer. I'm so grateful for taking the chance to move here. That decision changed my life, in more ways than I can say.

False Creek sunrise

I'm sure I've written about my love affair with this city before, but it definitely bears repeating. Vancouver: I love you.

Inukshuk at English Bay

Small Inukshuks and other assorted "rock art"

Today is a rest day but yesterday's run: 8 km. Weather: still cold for Vancouver but, with the incredible sunrises we've been having, who cares? Feeling: okay. Calves are not great, for some reason. Probably in need of a little stretching and massage. 

Stay tuned for future posts, where I plan to actually write about running (go figure!). I'm working up some material on new and old gear, and what it takes to train for a marathon.

Running Round-Up: End of Year Musings Edition

Proof that I was out there! 

#RunEngland and Gear
My husband and I were recently in England to spend time with family and enjoy the holidays. I even managed to get a couple of runs in while we were there: a nice and relaxed 8k, and a 3k fartlek run. Miracle.  

Overall though, I definitely fell off the training wagon over Christmas, but am raring to go now that I'm home. I've also picked up some new gear to help me out: some traction aids, given the irritatingly persistent snow and icy conditions on the west coast, and a new fuel belt for when my training runs start to go up in distance. I've never had a real fuel belt before - just a makeshift one, where I attached two portable fuel bottles onto my water bottle belt - so this is a little exciting for me. My first real fuel belt!

Final Note for 2016
2016's obviously been a hard year for so many reasons. Going into 2017, I'd like to remember this, courtesy of this year's Doctor Who Christmas special (thank you, Steven Moffat and Peter Capaldi):

Everything ends, and it’s always sad. But everything begins again too, and that’s always happy. Be happy. 

Happy New Year, friends. May your 2017 be happy. 

The Thing About 2016

Warning (especially for new readers): this blog occasionally contains foul language. Some readers may be obscenely offended. Others won’t care at all. Only you can judge into which camp you fall.

Grief is a strange thing. One moment, you can be totally fine. The next, you’re crying in a pub over a beer and plate of fries.

This is a true story.

So I’m spending time with my husband enjoying some small talk over a beer and we’re having a quick review of 2016 - specifically, how so many of our friends have had babies this year, which is nice. And while many might feel this year was full of miserable things e.g. Brexit, Trump being elected as the first Idiot of the United States (conversely, Hillary to not have been elected as the country’s first female president despite, arguably, being one of the most qualified and experienced persons to have ever been in the running), Aleppo, and all those deaths of notable and beloved artists and personalities from around the world, these friends who find themselves new parents or parents again might be hard pressed to think that this entire year was all bad.

That said, my experience of 2016 went something like this: the first half was spent feeling distressed over my father’s failing health, then he died in July, and then I spent the second half of 2016 filling my time with busy-ness so that I could avoid feeling guilty about being so relieved that all of the worry and anguish over the inevitability of his death was finished.

It was just a shame that my husband and I had our little “year in review” in a public place where, one second, we’re talking about babies and the next all I could think about and nothing else was my dad and death and relief and guilt and my eyes are leaking and they won’t stop and the next table over is wondering, “Uh oh. What is her problem?”

All this to say, in my humble opinion, that this past year was totally and utterly shit. In conclusion, 2016: you can go fuck yourself. Good riddance. 

Training and Fundraising (thank you!) Update

On a happier note, I’d like to extend my gratitude to all of you who have donated to my fundraising campaign for Team Diabetes. I’m just over a third of the way to my fundraising goal of $3,500 and it’s all due to you, so thanks for that.

For those who would like to donate but are a little strapped given the expenses of the season, no worries! You have until May so please make note of the campaign and give when you can.

As for training, between #snowmageddon (alternatively, #snowmageddon2016) in Vancouver and being out of a town a few days, I came down with a cold so instead of forcing myself to keep running through the sore throats and runny noses, I figured I’d give myself a break - particularly as it’s so far been a strong base building effort - and take a few days off. I shall resume running as soon as I’m able to kick this cold to the curb. Hopefully the snow will also be gone by then, although not likely by the looks of things.